| Betty and Phoebe haven’t always known that their histories are intertwined. Betty grew up on a farm in Virginia and desegregated the schools at age 13, an experience she wrote about in her first book Wit, Will, and Walls. However, after writing that book, she didn’t feel as though she had completely captured her story. Upon meeting Phoebe and hearing about her journey, she knew she wanted them to be partners. Phoebe grew up in Maryland. She initially did not know that her father’s family had enslaved people. Later in life, she went back to school at Eastern Mennonite University and took the Strategies for Trauma Awareness and Resilience (STAR) training, among other courses. She returned to work for the Center for Justice and Peacebuilding at Eastern Mennonite University and was a part of the creation of Coming to the Table racial healing gatherings. It wasn’t a formal organization at that point, but they were working to bring together groups of people to talk. Through this process, she started piecing facts together about her family’s history—where they had lived, their racist attitudes, etc. After researching and discovering that her family had indeed enslaved individuals, she came across Betty and read about her experiencing desegregating the schools. Upon reading her book and seeing hints of connection there, she contacted Betty on MLK Day in 2007. Betty and Phoebe utilized the process of Coming to the Table to develop their relationship and later to help structure their book Cousins. They thought that if they could show how they came together to heal, perhaps they could inspire others as well. The Coming to the Table approach has 4 aspects—facing history, making connections, working towards healing through approaches such as prayer, ritual, and symbolism, and taking action. All of these are incorporated into the book. Betty and Phoebe both believe we cannot just sit and talk—we have to do something. The broad theme of the book is reparations and making amends/repairing harms. Both of them have seen the effects their work has had on the public. Through presenting on their stories and their book, they have found how many people are curious and willing to have the difficult conversations. They were a huge part of the instigation as well as the growth of national Coming to the Table groups and have inspired people to look into their family histories. Furthermore, their work on reparations has encouraged others to take action. Folks have set up scholarship funds, volunteered their time, and done historical research on behalf of others. With the continuing deep racial tension in this country, it would have been easy to become discouraged. However, Betty and Phoebe both believe that if given the opportunity to share their stories, they can inspire change. Betty witnessed firsthand in her experience desegregating the schools that you need to both impact laws/policy as well as touch individual people’s hearts. Their next steps include adapting their stories for the younger generation, hoping that in the future, more people can continue to be encouraged and inspired by their journey.
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